I caught a glimmer of light and it told me I’d spent all my
memories bathing in shit. I caught a glimmer in the middle of mealtime
devouring darkness. It was an accident. My head poked through the edge
of a shadow and there it all was. Fire. Stars. Parades stampeding music
into my bones and mainlining beauty straight to my soul and my eyes were
gluing themselves to the fabric. Then,
with the flick of a wisp full of wind I found myself drowning again in
the shit and the shadows. And as I look around my dark home I bleed
dissatisfaction. I was broken by the world outside of here, cursed to
find no solace until that music comes back and my heart fills once more
with whatever that was that spilled into it. Happiness once assumed like
background noise has become a worthless attribute without the colors
that I used to know. And I stink like lust now worse than the shit I’m
surrounded with. I reek of sweat from digging for fallen shards of those
stars I can only imagine exist the way my memories claim that they do. I
reek of hope and it rots like maggots consuming the husk of complacency
I used to consider my skin. I dream that my dreams will swallow me up
and I’ll never know the pain of waking again.
Because I caught a glimmer of light and that light caught me in its eyes and it changed me forever. And my heart was caught in the jaws of this world and when I receded the thing began bleeding and ached to be swallowed, breathlessly screaming for this place that it saw. With the taste still in its mouth it led me like a lantern through mazes and tunnels and all those scary places I’d never willingly go and when those waves of pain came I’d try to protect it and close it and keep it safe but it always stayed open even when plastered with rains of falling glass fragments or haunted by the burdensome weight of old ghosts like rejection, regret and early goodbyes. And I’d try to protect it and close it and keep it safe from those things but I couldn’t stop it because I realized what I fear more than being killed by my passion is that I would kill it. So my heart goes forward, much braver than I, still with the taste in its mouth and the music in its ears.
Because I caught a glimmer of light and that light caught me in its eyes and it changed me forever. And my heart was caught in the jaws of this world and when I receded the thing began bleeding and ached to be swallowed, breathlessly screaming for this place that it saw. With the taste still in its mouth it led me like a lantern through mazes and tunnels and all those scary places I’d never willingly go and when those waves of pain came I’d try to protect it and close it and keep it safe but it always stayed open even when plastered with rains of falling glass fragments or haunted by the burdensome weight of old ghosts like rejection, regret and early goodbyes. And I’d try to protect it and close it and keep it safe from those things but I couldn’t stop it because I realized what I fear more than being killed by my passion is that I would kill it. So my heart goes forward, much braver than I, still with the taste in its mouth and the music in its ears.
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