15.12.16

Menstrual Cunnilingus

Call me a Vampire but I see nothing wrong with a bloody vagina. All that gleefully nutritious, succulent sweetness goes to waste if you're unwilling to assault the main gates and plaster your snout against the coppery wetness leaking from those happy drapes. Sometimes if she's bleeding I'll go down simply because I'm out of granola bars and don't feel like ramen. I can survive off her pussy for weeks and if I'm careful enough she won't even stain the sheets.

Don't you dare look disgusted. Have you ever tried it? Do you even know what it tastes like? Sure it's pungent and stings the throat and leaves a bloody mess on your chin but there's a rich and sugary undercoat like raspberry syruped over flavorful olives or a mucus of honey and cherry and bubbly soda pop. Alright I'm embellishing now it's more like salmon brunch or a nice tuna melt. Except covered in vagina blood. You know I'm failing to really capture the taste with words and I apologize. I suppose it's an acquired taste like oysters or artichokes. And each one different from the next. Some similar to delicious blush or a two buck chuck and others more like habanero gasoline. A few come pickled, usually the ladies in triple digits whose curtains you feel tickle your voice box.

So come friends and join me! Let us dance all night in vagina blood and play and splash about and wrestle, holding each others faces down in menstrual puddles until somebody calls uncle. And when we're done we'll shower in it and scrub each other thoroughly dirty until we fall asleep and when we awake it will have crusted over night and we'll find little snacks caught in our hair and behind our ears, tasty treats too delicious not to eat. I like to add it to my coffee. You can snort it off the floor but if you do make sure to mop, you don't want germs in your menstrual snot. You can hoard it in all in jars, you can leave them in a drawer then sneak it into soup and serve it to the poor. How dare you tell me I'm being improper? I say let them eat caviar!

So come friends and join me! Won't you have some with your toast? You've heard of a Southwest Omelette, but have tried the Cannibal Coast? You can even have it on your sushi if your soy sauce lacks in flavor, or throw it on a hotdog because you're already eating a fucking a hotdog so--Look, don't take my word for it, try it for yourself but heed my warning, you may come to love it. I'm just kidding. You'll probably get sick and throw up.

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