Call me a Vampire but I see nothing wrong with a bloody vagina. All that gleefully nutritious, succulent sweetness goes to waste if you're unwilling to assault the main gates and plaster your snout against the coppery wetness leaking from those happy drapes. Sometimes if they're bleeding I'll go down simply because I'm out of granola bars and don't feel like ramen. I can survive off their pussy for weeks and if I'm careful enough they won't even stain the sheets.
Don't you dare look disgusted. Have you ever tried it? Do you even know what it tastes like? Sure it's pungent and stings the throat and leaves a bloody mess on your chin but there's a rich and sugary undercoat like raspberry mucus over Worcester olives or a syrup of honey and copper and bubbly soda pop--oh you'll love it I swear! It's like salmon brunch or a nice tuna melt. Except covered in vagina blood.
I can't even describe the taste with words and I apologize, but how do you put language to the essence of creation? It's not just the taste, my friends, how can you waste pure, distilled miracle smoothie? Somewhere in that natal ooze there swims a baby cherubic angel still waiting for her knight in shining semen to ride the currents with their mighty tail and cross the bridge between heaven and Earth.
But they ain't coming. Her best chance now is if I gobble the whole thing down and step two find a cum bucket to spit it into. Oh who am I kidding? We don't need step two. I can just swallow the whole thing myself and grow a baby in my tummy like Mother Mary, and they'll have red hair and green eyes, and I'll name them after the stars. Maybe Delphini, or HD 149026. Okay I'm fucking with you, the only miracle my genesis slurpy's bearing is a colossal shit. It's really about the taste.
So come friends and join me! Let us dance all night in vagina blood and play and splash about and wrestle, holding each others faces down in menstrual puddles until somebody calls uncle. And when we're done we'll shower in it and scrub each other thoroughly dirty until we fall asleep and when we awake it will have crusted over night and we'll find little snacks caught in our hair and behind our ears, tasty treats too delicious not to eat. You can snort it off the floor but if you do make sure to mop, you don't want germs in your menstrual snot. You can hoard it in all in jars, you can leave them in a drawer then sneak it into soup and serve it to the poor.
How dare you tell me I'm being improper? I say let them eat caviar! Come friends, won't you have some with your toast? You've heard of a Southwest Omelette, but have tried the Cannibal Coast? I like to add it to my coffee. You can even have it on your sushi if your soy sauce lacks in flavor, or throw it on a hotdog because you're already eating a fucking a hotdog so--Look, don't take my word for it, try it for yourself but heed my warning, you may come to love it. I'm just kidding. You'll probably get sick and throw up.
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